Elder Scrolls Session 02 – Bruma Bound!

Endar and Elvira had information about the Imperial that was trying to have them killed, but the guards weren’t taking them seriously. All they knew was that Garrius Nero was heading up north.

Endar was ready to just head north since he was trying to reach Skyrim anyway when Elvira remembered something. They had arrived in the Imperial City by carriage with Garrius, it stood to reason that he did not have a horse locally and had taken a carriage north. There was a chance that they could get the information they needed from the carriage house.

Elvira talked the driver into revealing that he had headed to Bruma. They hired him to take them to Bruma as well. Wheile on the Silver Road, they were attacked by goblins. The driver was killed instantly and the carriage wrecked. The horses ran off. Endar successfully jumped from the carriage before it wrecked, Elvira had climbed to the driver’s seat to calm the horses and fell off the carriage, nearly injuring herself. Once they recovered, Endar and Elvira fought the four goblins. Elvira cast a confusion spell on one and the other standing beside it ended up catastrophically injuring itself with a rogue arrow. Endar summoned a scamp and the scamp killed the confused one. At this point the other two ran, with the scamp chasing one of them.

They loot what little they could from the goblins and the carriage driver and head to Bruma on foot. After another day of traveling they arrive in Bruma

The first thing they do when they get to town is locate a place for Endar to sell some meat and skins from some deer he killed. Novaroma proved to be the best choice, but the Altmer behind the counter to an immediate dislike to Endar’s surly attitude. Thanks to the winning personality of Elvira, Endar got some decent prices for his wares and they headed back out into the city. Endar wanted to buy some thing from the Mages’ Guild, but knew he could not go there. He convinced Elvira to go for him and she cased the joint to possibly buy some supplies or just break back in later to steal.

They met back up at Olav’s Tap and Tack and Elvira talked up some locals until she found someone who spoke her language; crime. She bought a decent thieve’s tool kit and got some info on a possible job.  Her new contact, Hilde the Quiet, also knew about Garrius Nero. She told her that Harrius was a very dangerous criminal with no code of ethics at all who posed as a business man. When asked about his where abouts, Hilde responded she knew, but would require a favor in return, first.

HIlde has been expecting a skooma shipment and it has been late by several days. The shipment was to be delivered by two Khajiit brothers; Ravasi & Shanasi. Their last stop was in Chorrol, so they may still be there or somewhere along the Orange Road. She wanted Elvira to find out what happened and, if possible, bring her shipment of Skooma to her.

Meanwhile, Endar excused himself out of sight of everyone to talk to an ancestor. His ancestor told him that Garrius is hunting Elvira because she killed his business partner (one of the few people that Garrius had any love for). As for Endar himself… Garrius spent some time in Vvardenfell and won the favor an Ashlander named Urshamusa Rapli of the Ahemmusa tribe. He became a clan friend of them. His new friend told him of her vision of his future.  Though his ambition was great, he would have to remove a Dunmer named Endar Velandas from the picture.

When Endar returned he told Elvira very little and they prepared to go find out about that skooma shipment…

Elder Scrolls Session 01

Tonight we played our first session of The Elder Scrolls table top role-play game. This game was not written by me. It was created by Will Herrmann (JourneymanGM.com ).

The play test group is comprised of two of my three kids (and hopefully soon my wife and another friend of ours). I’ll mention here that our youngest daughter (14) is referred to as #ThePixie and our oldest son (20) is #CaveTroll . #ThePixie chose to play Elvira Etienne, a female Breton Nightblade. her story is that she moved to Cyrodiil from High Rock within the last few years. She has since made a name for herself by doing delicate problem-solving jobs for  nobles and other important folks. #CaveTroll isEndar Velandas, a male Dunmer Necromancer. His story is that he’s a native Dunmer whose family settled in the West Weald and owns a large stretch of farmland there. They supply food to a large portion of Cryodiil and are therefore quite wealthy. His studies have garnered the attention of the Mage’s Guild and they are not thrilled. Because Endar comes from a well to do family, the Mage’s Guild is more interested in keeping tabs on him than they are getting rid of him. He doesn’t know that though.

At the start of the session, Endar was headed to the Imperial City in a carriage with Elvira and an Imperial name Garrius Nero. Through conversation it was revealed that Endar was meeting with vendors about renewing contracts to by from his familiy’s farms. It was also revealed that Elvira had a meeting with someone at the Arcane University. Garrius said that he was a vendor who dealt in housewares and was trying to secure business in the Imperial City because a whole new section of homes were being built.

Upon arrival they went their separate ways. Elvira met with Arch Mage Traven. He told her that he wanted to hire her to keep tabs on a Dark Elf named Endar Velandas. he explained that they wanted to know what his true intentions were and if he was studying Necromancy, who was teaching him. Elvira took the job.

Endar had his meeting with several Inn keepers and some vendors about continuing business. It all went very well. Both ended up staying at the Merchant Inn that night. Elvira tried to make contact with Endar, but he wanted nothing to do with the “annoying Outlander” and stayed in his room. Eventually both went to bed only to wake up to an Inn on fire.

Both escaped via the window and soon discovered that no one else had been discovered. The flames were put out by a bucket brigade and mages using frost magic. They stayed at Luther Broad’s Boarding House that night, noting that several people there were also seen at the Merchant Inn. The next morning it was discovered through conversation with an Imperial man and a Redguard woman that the entire Inn had been paid to vacate for the night. A High Elf had come in, paid them for their room, covered their expenses at a different Inn, and gave them a few Septims for their trouble. No one knew the High Elf’s name. Even the publican had been paid to go home for the night. Another Dark Elf came in and Elvira and Endar recognized him from the night before. a bald grey skinned Dark Elf with a facial scar and one dead eye. He told them the same story. No one even knew about the fire. He made the comment that perhaps someone wanted them dead. As he left they asked his name. Jiub, came the reply.

As they tried to leave town, a High Elf stopped them, called them both by name and asked them to follow him into an alley. They both followed, wanting some answers. He attacked with fire, but Endar’s bound sword gutted him mercilessly. As he was dying, he revealed that his name was Avondo and he had been hired by an Imperial named Garrius Nero. Garrius had left and was traveling north, but before anymore information could be claimed, he died.

When they approached the guards, not only had the body vanished, but the guards were convinced this was all an insurance scam (the publican, Velus Hosidius, had taken his books home with him). They didn’t believe any of their story about Avondo or Garrius and had heard of neither. They did ask about a Dark Elf named Jiub who was wanted in connection with several robberies, but neither gave him up.

Thus ended out first session. It was a short game, but it got our adventurers together and out the door. What will happen next?!

 

Crash & Burn… & Move Forward

Over the last several weeks I have gone from working on the Elder Scrolls project (a little homebrew adaption) to working on the rough draft for Project: Amaranth for submission to my publisher. Then a funny thing happened. Ok… not funny. Tragic.

My desktop computer developed a singularity and enveloped itself in a miasma of hellish destruction. This is why back ups are SO important. I wish I had made some.

My publisher (who is awesome) was very understanding and we came to an agreement to work on a different project until Amaranth could be rescued. This other project was none other than the mysterious SPUR that several of you have heard me mention.

My partner in crime and I have been working on this in the background for a little while, but now we are putting it at the front.  What is SPUR you ask…

SPUR is awesome. It is a weird western that can be played as a straight western. It is every bit as weird, violent, straight up, political, explorative, & amazing as you want it to be. The rules? They are a custom set that my brilliant partner is producing as we speak. I know this is not a lot to go on, but more is coming.

We will be producing a core book that will have the setting and rules (everything you need to play). We will also be creating fiction, adventures, & affordable source books. It will be awesome. Stay tuned… especially if you like westerns.

The Elder Scrolls?!

As I begin the last parts of drafting a tabletop version of The Elder Scrolls rpg using Savage Worlds, I think about a few questions. It’s inevitable I suppose, to have these sorts of questions dancing around in your head as you spot the finish line ahead on a personal project.

For me, thinking about these questions helps me to better articulate what I’m trying to do, what I’m trying to accomplish. I force myself to consider these ideas and then respond to them. Normally this process is just an internal dialogue (that’s right folks, talking to myself), however I felt that since this project is in many ways kicking off the step for me that I should record this.

1) Why The Elder Scrolls?

Most gamers have a favorite setting. That one setting that inspires you like no other. In my life I have had several that I felt that way about. In early 2004 I finally bought The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind. When I first played I was so overwhelmed that I just put it away again. I didn’t touch it for about a month. Honestly, the game was so vast in scope and detail that I had no frame of reference. Once I allowed myself to come back to it and try again, I was richly awarded.

The world of The Elder Scrolls is a deep and lush world filled with as much lore and history as most traditional pen and paper tabletop rpg’s. The unique feel and look of Morrowind also caught my attention. It was the first time a video game had ever captured me so fully.

Many of my friends are also big fans of the series and that love we all share made this an idea worth pursuing. The idea that we could all enjoy this world together, at the same time, sharing a story line was very appealing.

2) Why spend energy on this project instead of one of the projects you are trying to get published?

This is an excellent question. The truth is in several parts.

  • This is a project that I genuinely just want to do.

As mentioned above, I have actually had this project in mind for a long while. Finishing this finally gives me a chance to run this game.

  • I really wanted the chance to convert something to Savage Worlds so that I could basically have a trial run.

This is very important. While I have used Savage Worlds playing in several games, I rarely used to run a game myself. Trying to grasp the mechanics better and really get into the nuts and bolts is a big deal. Doing a full conversion of an existing setting is a great way to do that. I’m now much more confident about using Savage Worlds for my own setting(s).

  • I’m flexing my mental muscles around conversion.

This is ties into the last one a little, but less specific. I’m really grasping the idea of taking a setting and doing what I want with it. In the past I have either run full on home brews (without actually writing much down) or just done something fully published. Now I’m actually doing that conversion properly and recording everything as I go. It’s a really big difference.

3) Why fantasy?

I realize that there are more fantasy rpg settings than there are people in the world. I realize that I am not going to re-invent the wheel. The truth is that there is something about fantasy that just appeals to me. Don’t get me wrong, I love many other genres too (modern, wild west, colonial America, age of jazz, etc…), but fantasy helps me to truly escape while retaining a sense of safe familiarity (if that makes any sense). My flagship project is fantasy. I enjoy it.

 

Covenant of Silence – ©1999 Jeremy Bethel

This little piece of fiction was written a long while ago and was inspired by an actual event. The vast majority of this story is just fiction, however… I did go out one night with two others and attempt to check out a local legend and we did have a camera with us. It turned out to be absolutely nothing, but the seed for this story was already planted in my mind. I decided to write it in a style that is actually different from my general writing style. I wanted to capture more of the horrific and lend a sense of urgency to the descriptions. I’m still not sure how I feel about this story, but I did enjoy writing it.

—–

I found myself having a difficult time breathing as I came to the crest of the hill. I cursed myself for parking so far away from my destination. I was walking in a parking lot, completely devoid of anything except for cold and perfectly shaped parking blocks. I saw ahead another hill, but this one was much smaller. There were woods to my right, but I was certain that they were not the section I was looking for. The trees were on a hill far too steep to have unmarked graves.

As I approached the second hill I began to feel nervous. I knew in my head that it was stupid of me to go investigating like this alone. I kept telling myself that it was all right because it was daylight and I was just checking out the scene. I topped the hill and came upon a field that was likely used for soccer and other outdoor sports. I saw the woods on my right and in the distance straight ahead of me as well.

My feelings of discomfort increased. The loathsome quietness of the field enveloped my senses and wrapped me in a shroud of paranoia. My steps became more cautious and I found myself peering suspiciously into the trees. Their trunks were crowded together in a conspiratorial huddle and the branches of each damnable one swayed beckoningly in a light breeze that I swear I could not feel. The whispers of the few remaining leaves that were tinged with autumn splendor told secrets barely audible and too awful for mortals’ ears to behold.

I found, as I walked further, a discarded golf ball. I picked it up and fidgeted with it playfully while I kept a nervous eye on the gruesome woodlands around me. I tossed the ball into the distance and the woods ahead seemed to swallow it whole. It disappeared into the maw of the cursed woods. I quickened my steps to approach where I had last seen the ball, at the edge of the trees.

Hateful weeds grew and choked at the infernal trees that swished lightly in the afternoon sun. I could hear the eldritch voices better now and the terrible implications crept into the forefront of my mind. The thoughts skulked past my rational thinking and clogged my senses with the awful hellish whisperings of the dead. I knew then that I had found the right place.

That is when I heard deep within the woods the sound of a breaking branch. The crack resonated through the field and I felt suddenly very small and alone. The loathsome quiet of the woods resumed and not even the damnable trees dared to break the unspoken covenant of silence. Ice flows ran through my veins and my lungs ballooned as I tried to grapple with the horror of the quiet abomination.

I tried to walk away from the edge of the woods. I knew the graveyard was near, but it would have to wait.  I began walking backward, not wanting to turn my back on the vile woods.  I almost stumbled and reluctantly turned around to walk forward. The paranoia increased and I found myself constantly looking over my shoulder to see what was coming up behind me. I was having visions of dogs, dark dogs hiding behind the trees and salivating. I was having visions of deformed people walking numbly across the field toward me. Chills ran over every inch of my body all the way across the field, and then… it stopped.

I began to remember a passage I read in a book while I was in college. It was when my interest in the occult really took off. I was reading a passage from the Book of Cōtha. It was a very ancient text that had been painstakingly translated into English. It spoke about Q’Raph Tuka and his minions.

*

“In the time of the return of the Devourer, they will shamble. Those that see more than they should, will be touched by Q’Raph Tuka and the dogs of death will walk with them as they shamble and prepare the world for his coming.”

*

I dismissed the visions and recollections almost entirely. Whatever was happening, I was letting my imagination run away with me.

My feelings of fear diminished, but I could feel the presence of something right behind me. It was trying to convince me that everything was fine and there was no reason for worry. I kept checking behind me, but I foolishly bought into the scam. I walked, just as the thing wanted me to do, and I stepped into my car and drove away. For the time being I felt naively safe.

Hours later, I found myself at a friend’s house. There was a small, but determined party going on, and I felt that this would help me cope with the events of the day. We sat around and told filthy jokes and drank. It was a good time, but I was still feeling worried and suspicious about what had happened earlier.

I was drinking beer and trying not to think about all that happened earlier that afternoon. The day had been cruel and I suspected that the night would be crueler by far unless I could drink myself into forgetting. The trick didn’t work as I had expected. The only thing gained from my consumption of alcohol was that the fear was now a dizzying and confused fear, with parts of my memory missing, and parts made up on the spot. I eventually passed out on the couch.

My dreams that night were haunted by the abominable monstrosities in the woods. My mind was still trying to bend around the horrible revelations brought to me. I could only thank the stars above that my frail human brain could simply not comprehend what had been revealed to me that night. I slept as hushed voices, carried on some vile and faint wind, crept into my ears. As the night rode wickedly on, forbidden atrocities were being related to my dreaming mind. What horrible effect that would have, I could not have known.

Morning came with an uncomfortable exuberance. The sunrise came in through the windows and danced heavy across my eyelids. I was aware of my hangover before I was even full awake. It would seem that the only thing I managed to forget the night before was how susceptible I can be to the aftereffects of strong beer. It would be another week before I dared set foot toward those woods again.

***

It was Friday, near the end of October. A close friend of mine who shared my appreciation of the dead (though not on the same level) agreed to accompany me on my next outing.  My friend, Edward Glenn, and I had both extensively studied the occult while we were in college. For Edward it was always more of a hobby he could discuss at parties, but for me, it was genuine passion. To my surprise, my wife also showed interest and chose to go the next time as well. I had borrowed a video camera to record the events closely. My friend, my wife, and myself drove out to the spot that had caused me so much distress in past week.

It was already dark by the time we arrived. We had three flashlights between us, plus the light on the camera. As we walked across the field, the same feelings of dread entered us all. Edward gave me a concerned look, but said nothing. My wife, Haley, walked between Edward and myself from the car to the field. Crossing the field, Haley pointed out the soccer goals in an attempt to make the situation seem less grim. Edward nodded and kept walking; he was strangely quiet through the entire crossing.

I could scarcely see the trees, for which I was thankful. In fact I could see little through the camera at all. Mostly I walked with it pointing ahead, but not actually looking through it. I had hoped that it was picking up much more than I was seeing through it. If not, then it may have been a waste.

Once we reached the edge of the woods where I had heard the branch breaking, we did one last gear check and entered the woods. Edward went in first, followed by Haley, and finally by myself. Once we were in the woods, I could see more through the camera, likely because there was less open space. I kept my eye to the camera as we climbed down a steep incline made of fallen tree branches and exposed roots. It was a hideously perfect staircase leading into the blackness of the nighttime forest. The steps were far too faultless to be accidental, far too convenient to avoid.

The trees loomed all around us, jutting out of the ground at strange and unnatural angles. The branches wove in and out of each other as if they were part of some vile living tapestry of nightmares. Many of the leaves had already fallen and the skeletal trees stood stark and black against dark night sky. The unseen roots buried beneath the tainted soil of that unholy woodland grasped for each of us slowly, to join and capture us in their circle. We were doomed, and we had no clue about it other than the random paranoia that plagued our senses.

I allowed Edward and Haley to lead since I could not see as well through the lens of the camera. We followed a barely visible path between the horrible trees that lead deeper into the forest labyrinth. No one spoke and we covered ground in silence, none of us daring to break it. I thought back to when I had first decided to seek this hidden cemetery not too long ago.

An acquaintance of mine had first related the story some weeks prior and my fascination had grown with each passing day as I fully considered the idea of checking it out myself. I knew I was no expert in this field, but curiosity had done me in.

I remember sitting while Beth told me of the old mental institution that had stood on that ground so long ago, where now a community college spread its wings. The Dorchester Asylum was designed to be a groundbreaking study in insanity. This was around the 1920’s, and no such institution really existed in this part ofVirginia. The whole plan was not so much to cure or treat the insane, but to secretly experiment with them to find out exactly what was wrong with them. This was a barbarous process, and many died and were buried in pauper’s graves in a local cemetery. There was one area that dealt with some particularly disturbing individuals. They had all contracted a physical illness that was increasing their delusional mental state.

Edward stopped in his tracks. “Over there,” he whispered as he pointed frantically with his flashlight on up ahead and to the left. There appeared to be a clearing in the distance. We started to change our direction to head toward the clearing when a rustling of leaves caused a brief, but serious, panic. We all began half-whispering, half-shouting expletives as we fearfully hunched down and turned our lights off. Haley hushed us both down and turned her light on directly where we heard the noise. There was nothing there. There were no more noises and no more hellish forest whispers from the foul denizens of that hated woodland. We all caught our breath and continued toward the clearing.

Beth had told me that her great grandfather had worked there doing janitorial work. He heard about the diseased patients that had been isolated while cleaning outside of the administrative office. He heard that it was causing their flesh to deteriorate and their mindset to worsen. Where once was insanity that may have been cured, was now simple and animalistic mentalities with even worse mental problems and less moral conscience. They no longer distinguished between right and wrong on any level. There were five of them, and they would not survive the week.

We came upon the clearing fairly suddenly after crossing a fallen tree. It was larger than we had anticipated, but empty of anything that resembled a marker. The ground was thick with weeds and rotted fallen trunks. We covered the area carefully but found nothing but empty bottles of beer and the remains of a fire. We pawed through the ashes to find something, but turned up nothings worth noting. Edward looked around and motioned for us to continue elsewhere.

Beth’s great grandfather had been assigned to help bury the five patients once they died. Him and one other man were paid generously to bury them and never speak of it to anyone. They walked deep into the woods and found a clearing. They dug a grave for each one and found large stones to mark each one, out of respect.

Some months later, Dorchester Asylum was closed for good when several of the patients escaped and committed a grisly crime. Unbelievably, seven men escaped from the prison one night during the summer of 1928. They walked through the night and came upon a young woman stranded by the roadside. They beat, raped, and disemboweled her by the road. That morning a traveler drove by and saw her body on the hood of her car, the escaped patients asleep, some in the car, some on the side of the road.

She was the daughter of Paul Holbrook, a powerful man on the city council. The asylum was shut down in a matter of weeks. The identities of the five and the location of the graves would remain a secret, for the time being. The seven men were all killed.

Edward grabbed me by the arm as I visibly shuddered at the thought of that awful crime. It made me think about the barely audible whispers that had been haunting my dreams for the past week. What was going on? I knew that some revelation was being related to my subconscious mind, but what was it? I was feeling obsessed and paranoid, and it did little to calm my fraying nerves. Edward and Haley looked at me, concerned and quiet.

I told them that I was fine, never mind me, just wondering where this supposed gravesite was. We walked on, again in silence. The only sound, that of the leaves beneath our feet, fallen and forgotten.

Haley stopped us in our tracks. She pointed off to the left with her flashlight. There was another clearing. We were standing on a vague path in the middle of the woods, a rotted stump three feet high in front of us. We all walked cautiously to the clearing, which was close by, but hard to see into due to the closeness of the awful trees.

It would have been beneficial to give up, to have just forgotten all about the graves, the story, and just went home and enjoyed the rest of our lives. It would have been the smart thing to do, the rational thing to do. We were, however, fully wrapped in the forest’s desire. It was hopeless.

The clearing was an almost perfect circle, twenty feet from edge to edge of the detestable site. It was devoid of any vegetation, and the soil was unnaturally moist, not muddy. There was nothing there, nothing except five large stones.

As we stepped into the clearing I could feel the damp ground gripping my boots with every step. We all held onto to each other as we walked because the earth was pulling hard at our feet and making balance difficult. The stones were all a grey white color, rounded and oblong, with no immediately discernable features. They were all arranged in a circle in the clearing. I approached the stones, with their presumed graves meeting near the center of the loathsome circle.

I reached out to touch one and found it utterly cold, not just to the touch, but also through my entire being and to its core, cold. I jerked my hand back. Haley must have seen the look of fear on my face. She grabbed me and pulled me away from the stone and gave me a pleading look. Edward, who was busy examining the soil a little closer, also looked up. Haley begged me to call this off, that there was something horrible and unnatural in that place. Edward sided with her, stating that the soil was moistened with a viscous fluid that he was certain was not natural or explicable. I almost relented, almost.

I explained that we had come too far and had seen too much to just turn back. I thought it would be a good idea to at least get some good footage of each stone and of the soil that seemed to cause so much alarm. Reluctantly, and with the guarantee that we would leave soon, they agreed. We taped a bit of each stone, all around them, up close and distant.

Finally we began shooting footage of the ground. It seemed silly at first, but the soil kept sucking us into it. It was black, not even a little brown, and felt almost slimy to the touch. Haley screamed. I turned and she was all the way up to her ankles in the muck. Edward and I rushed over to pull her out. It was no use, she was being pulled and soon we were too. In the struggle I dropped the camera. We tried to pull ourselves toward the stones, so we could use them to pull ourselves out. We could scarcely move, and what little we managed, worsened our state.

The black soil was slimy and grainy. As we tried to maneuver toward the outer rim of the clearing, we were slowly swallowed up. I could feel the cold wetness of the dirt creeping up my pant legs. We were all three hysterical, and tried whatever wild movements we could to get to the edge of the clearing. With each passing moment we found ourselves deeper. My legs were gone, and soon after my chest was in danger of being covered.

Slowly we sank into the grotesque earth, we found ourselves up to our necks. Haley kept praying and reminding me how much she loved me. Edward was in tears, knowing he would never again lay his eyes on his wife or his child. I tried desperately to comfort them between my screams for help. Suddenly we heard a rustling nearby.

Our fears forgotten, we all began shouting for attention and rescue. We thought for sure that some strangers out in the woods that night had heard our screams and had come to save us. Our flashlights were long gone, save one, which was still floating nearby on top of the foul soil. Its dimming beam of light caught movement in the trees. We all strained our eyes to see what was coming. My heart sank as I heard a low growl and remembered my earlier vision of the dogs.

The first figure shambled into view, deformed and rotted, moaning. Four others and five large black dogs followed it. Haley began to scream again. I shuddered in horror, unable to make a sound, unable to comfort my companions any longer. One dog ran forward, past me and tore into Edward’s face. His screams and shrieks of pain too much for a friend to bear. It only lasted a few moments and he was gone. Another dog walked over casually and joined the first in its meal.

Two other dogs attacked my dear wife Haley. I tried so hard to get up; I tried so hard to struggle against the impossible earth. Its weight crushing me against my resistance, I writhed and yelled. I spat and cursed at them, not caring any longer about my own fate. I watched as my wife went silent, and her head stopped thrashing about. I watched as the two dogs sat down in lazy comfort to finish eating.

I looked at the mangled faces of the dead before me. The skin on their heads was tattered and barely clinging to shards of bone. Their clothes were covered in a black layer of filth and slime. Their faces held no expressions, no hints to their motive or mood. They moved in and stared at me.

The fifth dog began walking toward me. He was growling when he approached my head. He barked once and I could feel the heat of his breath on my skin long after I felt his first lunge tearing the flesh from my screaming face.

- ©1999 Jeremy Bethel

“Penance” – © 1999 Jeremy Bethel

A little background: This is just a VERY small story I wrote a long while ago. A good friend of mine & I used to play a game. I would give him some random ideas & he would incorporate them into drawings. He would give me random ideas & I would put them into a story. At the end of the story, I’ll state what the original challenge was.

 

Jacob Finn left his apartment building in quite a hurry. He stumbled out onto the street fumbling with the zipper on his coat and juggling his keys. The door slammed behind him. Stopping cold, he turned to look at the door one last time. It was a good strong wooden door, with a tiny peephole, and a brass doorknob. He touched the knob one last time, the cold chilling his fingertips painfully.

As he turned and walked away, his heart did a complex dancing maneuver with his stomach and nearly cost him his breakfast. Nervous and unsure, Jacob walked down the city sidewalk toward his car. The street was cold and unfriendly that morning, as it seemed most mornings. In this neighborhood it didn’t have to be night for you to get mugged, raped, or murdered.

When Jacob reached his battered brown Omni, he checked it out to make sure the tires weren’t slashed, or the windows weren’t broken. Jacob had always tried to believe that kids would be kids. This also usually ended in disappointment, as his mother would remind Jacob that all children were monsters and they had to develop a sense of humanity with age.

After a short struggle, the ice in the door lock proved vulnerable to his car key. The dented door creaked as he opened it to step inside. His car was even colder inside than the outside, he watched as his breath danced before him while he started up his car. He heard sounds of protest as he repeatedly turned the key. When he had finally gotten the car started he grabbed his ice scraper and got out to work on the windows, allowing the car time to warm up. If he was truly lucky, it might even warm up to forty degrees.

Jacob did not own a pair of gloves. He always felt that if nothing else, the pain of the ice-cold air would serve as a sort of penance for all the things he had done wrong. His mother had instilled a certain set of values in him, and they did not include forgiveness of your own faults.

As he finished up, Jacob noticed a couple of rough looking guys walking toward him. He quickly finished up and jumped back into his car, locking it behind him. He watched them walk past him without a glance from them. Being bullied for much of your life was as good a method of inducing paranoia as any other. He breathed a sigh of relief and checked himself in the sun visor mirror.

His face was pale and smooth, accented by eyes that were a strange mixture of greens and browns mingling together in circle around his pupils. His short spiky red hair leapt from his scalp like poppy petals from the stem. Pushing the visor back up, he checked his mirrors and pulled out onto the street.

The Omni drove through the city, passing broken down neighborhoods and industrial parks. Jacob had no idea where he was going, he just new he had to go, and couldn’t come back. The urban decay soon gave way to suburban main roads. He had packed all the stuff he could take in his car the night before, so he could get out before anyone would know. He wiped a tear away as he headed down a random rural route.

Seemingly endless tracks of farmland and woodlands zipped by on either side for hours. The radio churned out songs of resentment, alienation, anger, and space traveling drug lords the entire way. His mood did not change much; the choice had been made. Jacob stared straight ahead and slipped into a calm dream-like state. He thought about his girlfriend, his job, and his mother. He sent his girlfriend, Shelly, a letter yesterday in the mail. She should know the truth, no matter how awful it was. He had left a note to his boss at work as well. It was not nearly as detailed, but he felt he owed Mr. Overstreet an explanation. He also left a note with his mother, not that it would matter.

Shelly was going to be hurt by all of this. He hated himself for that. He started grinding his teeth and cursing beneath his breath. His boss was going to be very disappointed in him. He stepped harder on the gas, getting angrier and going faster.

He thought of his mother and began to slow down. She never really seemed to approve of anything he did. Last night though, she called his girlfriend a whore and him a loser. All he wanted was to be good enough, to be beautiful, worthy, and to be pure in her eyes. It was hopeless though. He felt the car jerk, and he was shaken back into the present.

The car was slowing down fast and he had lost power steering. He glanced down at the fuel gauge; it was empty, beyond empty. He had probably been driving on fumes for the last twenty minutes. Jacob tried pulling over to the side of the road. Stepping out of the car he saw that he was in the middle of nowhere. He smiled into the sun, the day had turned out to be a bit warmer than he expected it would. It seemed like a great day for a walk. Jacob looked around and saw almost nothing but trees. They seemed friendly enough, so he walked away into the woods without even bothering to shut his door.

The woods seemed to know him, to want him. Jacob felt comfortable as walked among them, their bare branches wanting to cradle him. He was certainly more at ease, though the pangs of guilt were still just beneath the surface boiling in shame. He would ignore them for now and walk among the trees that seemed to care for him so much.

He was getting tired, and wanted to stop. He decided to walk for just a few more minutes because he thought the trees wanted him to. When he was ready to collapse, he came upon a glorious thing. There in the midst of the friendly oak trees was a single solitary tree of glass, growing form the same earth as the others. Around the tree were littered tiny glass acorns. Jacob fell to his knees, and picked up one of the clear acorns.

Jacob held it up to his eyes and looked deep into it, he saw a small child, himself as a child, breaking his mother’s vase. He threw it to the ground and watched it shatter. He picked another up and saw himself as a teenage boy cheating on his then girlfriend, Heather, with her best friend. He threw the acorn and hit another tree, shattering the acorn into bits. He picked up acorn after acorn, staring into them and seeing all of things he had done wrong, and shattered each one in anger.

He picked up another and saw his mother yelling at him, the night before. She called Shelly a whore and told him he was an idiot to be fooled by her. She called him a loser; she said he was pathetic. He watched in horror as the events of that last night unfolded before his eyes. He threw the acorn and it hit a branch on the glass tree. He watched the acorn smash, and saw the branch break off and succumb to gravity. It shattered on the forest floor, sending glass everywhere.

Jacob winced with pain as some of the glass cut into him. He looked down at his hand and saw where the glass stuck him. The blood trickled down his fingertips and onto the ground. He felt a little better, the pain was a little like penance, but not enough for what happened last night. He took off his coat and dropped it on the ground.

Jacob thought back about his mother again. He thought about her harsh words, about his guilty feelings. He walked toward the glass oak and took off his shirt. He picked up a large broken tree branch from one of the other trees. He smiled and stepped up right beside the tree. He held the branch in his hands like a club. He swung hard at the glass tree.

He though about his mother. He thought about how he had beaten her with dining room table leg that he had broken moments before by throwing her into it. He thought about the wet sound of each thud that cracked against her broken skull. He pictured her body twitching, the last few nerve signals dying out.

The branch connected, and the tree trunk exploded and sent a spray of shards everywhere. The branches began to fall and shatter around him. The glass began slicing him to ribbons. He thought of penance, he thought about being forgiven, pure, and beautiful.

© 1999 Jeremy Bethel

For this one he said to write a story about a guilt-stricken red-head finding a glass tree in a forest.